Mum was home very late last night, and she was a little tipsy. She went to PCC and then straight on to her Women’s Group who invited her to the pub afterwards. They are evidently unused to the strong drink served in our local pub, for Mum says they all took off some of their intimate Foundation Garments and set fire to them in the ashtrays. Mum said she hadn’t had such a good time since 1993*, even though the Women’s Group has now been banned from all public houses within a ten-mile radius.
And PCC wasn’t about me at all, Mum said, but her Lips are Sealed for reasons of Confidentiality.
She went to bed early and was still asleep when I went to school this morning, breakfastless and wearing yesterday’s socks, for there are no clean ones in my socks-and-underpants drawer.
Tea was another Sainsbury’s microwave meal, a lasagna this time. Mum is getting very adventurous with all this foreign food. She said that she is far too busy nowadays to cook, but she has promised to show me how to use her washing machine and where her electric iron and ironing board are kept.
I can hardly say that I, too, am very busy, for Mum knows, and I know that she knows, that school holidays are now only days away. I do not blame Mum’s Hormones this time – just low feminine cunning.
* no, she didn’t say. I wondered as well.
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