Sunday 30 July

A big surprise at Church this morning – my old Vicar is back! Apparently it is only temporary. Ken, it seems, has gone quite suddenly to an inner-city parish where his talents can be better exercised, by order of the Bishop, and we are now in what we Church people call an Interregnum, which is Latin (even though we are CofE we don’t mind using Latin from time to time.)

My old Vicar looked at the choirstalls, or rather what is left of them, and shook his head sadly. “Barry, my boy”, he said confidingly, “I fear the old days are gone for ever. It will be guitars and skiffle hymns next and Ladies in dog-collars. I trust that this interregnum will be brief indeed, for I had hoped to spend my remaining days breeding dahlias and pondering, but, as you know, dear boy, when the Call comes it is the Lord Himself speaking and with Him you do not argue the toss.”

It felt good to back among familiar faces this morning. The hymns were easy, and I played two voluntaries afterwards – the Mozart again, and then on a sudden impulse the Trumpet Voluntary that always makes people sit up and take notice. I was feeling so confident that I was on the point of using the pedals in the last chord but I had forgotten to turn the light on for my feet, and I did not want to risk stamping on an E-flat by mistake, even though the Church was completely empty, the congregation having retired to the Parish Hall to gossip with the old Vicar and partake of a variety of similar-tasting murky brown liquids.

I hope Ken will do well taking the Word to his new congregation. And I do hope he uses the little joke I put into the list of Instruments Mentioned in The Bible when he comes to deliver that Sermon. He will be puzzled when he sees Accordion at the top of the list, but how he will laugh when the penny drops at Evensong!

Friday 28 July

The last day of term. The teachers all had to go to a staff meeting in the Red Lion at lunch time so we were let out early. There was much jollity going on, but I did not wish to become involved so I cleared my desk and went home to do some piano practice. I passed Antony in the corridor but again he did not speak. He is probably too embarrassed.

Wednesday 26 July

Mum was home very late last night, and she was a little tipsy. She went to PCC and then straight on to her Women’s Group who invited her to the pub afterwards. They are evidently unused to the strong drink served in our local pub, for Mum says they all took off some of their intimate Foundation Garments and set fire to them in the ashtrays. Mum said she hadn’t had such a good time since 1993*, even though the Women’s Group has now been banned from all public houses within a ten-mile radius.

And PCC wasn’t about me at all, Mum said, but her Lips are Sealed for reasons of Confidentiality.

She went to bed early and was still asleep when I went to school this morning, breakfastless and wearing yesterday’s socks, for there are no clean ones in my socks-and-underpants drawer.

Tea was another Sainsbury’s microwave meal, a lasagna this time. Mum is getting very adventurous with all this foreign food. She said that she is far too busy nowadays to cook, but she has promised to show me how to use her washing machine and where her electric iron and ironing board are kept.

I can hardly say that I, too, am very busy, for Mum knows, and I know that she knows, that school holidays are now only days away. I do not blame Mum’s Hormones this time – just low feminine cunning.

* no, she didn’t say. I wondered as well.

Monday 24 July

There is to be an emergency meeting of the PCC tomorrow evening. Mrs Ramsbotham has asked Mum to go along, even though she is not a member. I hardly dare hope that they are going to raise my stipend to even further dizzy heights, but I can think of no other explanation.

Did a little more work on A Sonnet for Rachel, but inspiration was not forthcoming because of the difficulties of rhyming my darling’s name.

Gave up after five minutes. Having finished my James Bond book I turned for relaxation to Dostoevsky.

Read p6 then had early night.

Sunday 23 July

There were no Communion hymns this morning because there is now no choir left to sing them, and the Gloria and the other little bits were said, for the same reason. So I only had four hymns and my voluntary to play, and I managed them all with very few mistakes.

It was good to be back! It wasn’t really necessary for the Suffragan Bishop to have come at the last minute to take the service, but I did feel very flattered (in a suitably modest sort of way.)

I think He must have been impressed, for I overheard Him asking Ken who on earth he’d got playing the organ.

Saturday 22 July

Spent almost the whole day practising hymns on the piano. I have discovered that I can actually play that awful hymn with five flats if I pretend that it’s in D major (which has sharps, but only two.) There is one tricky bit which I had to practise over and over again just before Mum remembered that she hadn’t done any shopping, but I think I have got it right now. And no blisters!

I am very excited about tomorrow, but I do think Ken could let me know what the hymns are in advance. I shall just have to get there early so that I can have a run-through and refamiliarise myself with the very different fingering technique which the organ requires (the organ, unlike the piano, having no sustaining pedal to help when you are working out how to get your fingers sorted out for the next chord.)

I have a feeling there might have been a Gerund in that last sentence, but tomorrow is a very important day so English grammar will have to wait.

Mum is watching a film downstairs that is all about Love. Dinner was a microwave curry from Sainsbury’s because Mum was late getting home (it was after 6pm. I do not understand how Mum can make shopping last so long.)

I have decided to play the same Voluntary tomorrow as I played last time – that moody piece by Mozart called Ave Verum. Astute members of the congregation will realise that it says: “Barry is back! As though he had never been away!”