Friday 21 July

Miss Smith’s after-school class turned out to be basically all about Sex Education. I stayed for 10 minutes but I do not think Miss Smith is as well-informed about this interesting Science subject as the author of my James Bond book. I would have stayed longer, because Miss Smith is not at all like a teacher but very interesting and kind, and she would probably appear very attractive to an older man like Simon, but there were some girls there and it became a little embarrassing so I suddenly remembered that I have not done any piano practice today.

I met Antony arriving just as I was leaving the school gates. He didn’t look ill at all, just furtive, and he did not speak to me. He probably feels very awkward now that it is widely known that he has been sacked from the Cathedral choir and I am beginning to feel a little sorry for him. He is very pompous and full of himself, but he is after all another Christian Soul in distress. All the same, I didn’t speak to him either.

Wednesday 19 July

Mum has joined a Women’s group that meets in the Library on Tuesday evenings. I am pleased that she has a new interest to take her mind off things, and I am sure that she will enjoy learning more about for example cooking and the healing power of crystals.

Tuesday 18 July

Finished my James Bond book, apart from the last chapter which I merely skimmed in order to arrive at the dénouement (or ending), which I thought a little weak. I suppose it is not the plot that matters in a James Bond book, but the descriptive detail, although I am rather surprised that 007 can engage in so much descriptive detail on his diet of nicotine and alcohol. I will ask Mr Grudge for his opinion as a man of Literature, and also there is something that I will probably wish to raise with Miss Smith in her extramuriel class on Friday.

Garnham v grateful for the James Bond book, but now says he has no further information about Antony’s precipitate departure. I believe that this is called Acquiring Property By Deception, and it is probably a criminal offence. It is likely, however, that I would lose Garnham’s friendship if I took legal action against him and he was banged up in chokey for the rest of his natural, and anyway I’ve read the book practically.

But now I must work on my Scales and Arpeggios to prepare myself for my return to the Church Organ on Sunday.

Monday 17 July

Antony’s Mum sent a sick-note today. Antony is suffering from stress, and Garnham says it is because he has been sacked from the Cathedral choir. Garnham says he will tell me more if he can have my James Bond book when I have finished it.

Sunday 16 July 12:15pm

Mum and Mrs Ramsbotham had a long talk after the service this morning and they are friends again. Mrs Ramsbotham told Mum that she should be on the PCC provided she didn’t wear that hat, but Mum declined on the grounds that she has favoured Direct Action ever since Dad scuttled off with That Woman, and she is thinking of becoming an Annerchist having had her eyes opened by Feodor Dostoevski.

Statistics from this morning’s service: Hymns 7. Lessons 2. Sermons 1. Clergy 1. Congregation 17. Choir 0. Organists 0. Collection £1.47 and two IOUs totalling a further £1.39.

The Vicar, I mean Ken, preached about human frailty and why our churches are nearly always empty, even though loyal people play guitars at the remaining few, and how difficult it is sometimes to see the Gingerbread beneath the Guilt, but Mum said she could tell his heart wasn’t in it, though it didn’t matter because everyone else was fast asleep.

I feel very sorry for Ken, but I am a bit worried about the collection plate, out of which my enhanced Stipend is to be paid.

Sunday 16 July 10:00am

I did not write a lot in my diary yesterday. Instead I busied myself with completing the Task ready for my return to my Organ duties this morning. I have finished reading the Old Testament without finding any more instruments than the ones I have already mentioned, and the list is now complete, with one addition from the Canticles which is by way of being a witty joke between me and Ken, as man to man.

Mum went shopping yesterday and bought me a book as a present! I tried to conceal my disappointment when I unwrapped it and found it was Crime and Punishment, by Dostoyevsky. I am sure she meant well, but obviously it is those Hormones playing up again.

And I completely forgot to mention that Miss Smith has invited me to join a special class that she takes after school hours on Fridays for More Mature Pupils. I promised to go next week, for it is a great privilege rarely afforded to an Arts & Humanities person such as myself.

I do wish Mr Grudge was as conscientious in his duties as Miss Smith obviously is. I think Miss Smith must be an extremely good teacher, and I am beginning to regret not taking at least one Science subject to provide a necessary Balance in my education. Human Biology, which is Miss Smith’s special subject, sounds very interesting indeed, and when Rachel and I are united in Holy Matrimony I will need to know some basic facts about the Human Reproductive System, the details of which I am unfamiliar with at present although I know that it must function efficiently otherwise I would not be here now. Renaissance Counterpoint and the Conceits of John Donne and the Crystal Poets of the 16^thC are one thing, but they do not in themselves guarantee a choirstallsful of golden-haired trebles.

Saturday 15 July

The bandages on my scalded wrists are a nuisance when I am trying to write, but Mum explained at the clinic that it was an unfortunate accident, and the lady from Social Services seemed satisfied as well, after we had had a little chat on our own. She seemed very pleasant, although a trifle inquisitive.

Mum cooked me a big breakfast afterwards although it was nearly lunch time. It was perfect, apart from the fried bread, which was a little limp and greasy, and the difficulty I had using a knife and fork.

Mum can be so kind and attentive. I cannot understand why Dad felt it necessary to run off with the lady from Aldi.

I will have to stop writing now because it is time for Mum to change my dressings.